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COMMUNITY BUILDING Project

THE VOICE OF SOME PARTICIPANTS

 

What did you think when this project was presented to you?

Nicola: I was worried but happy at the same time.

Daniel: Participation in this project was offered to me a few months after finishing a very similar experience with another boy, consequently I didn't experience this proposal with difficulty, despite living together with 3 people was a new experience that proved to be very constructive.

Samuel: At first I was a little scared because I didn't know what I was going to encounter, I had never lived independently with my peers. At the same time, I was very excited about the new experience I was going to face.

 

What were your duties?

Nicola: Ours are to keep the house clean and to do the shopping periodically.

Samuel: The tasks we had in addition to those relating to the kitchen were the cleaning of the bathroom, the rooms and the common areas. In addition to garbage and groceries, which we agreed on daily.

Daniel: The tasks have always been organized in a simple way, we had the tasks necessary to maintain coexistence and based on our needs and our commitments we organized a calendar with the tasks to be carried out so that there were no misunderstandings between us; someone cooked, someone cleaned, and we tried to concentrate certain tasks in specific moments so that we didn't have to think about it in moments dedicated to something else. Going forward with time, the calendar has served less and we have always managed to organize easily, keeping everything in order and respecting everyone's commitments and needs.

 

How has your relationship with the boy flatmates changed?

Nicola: Over time a very close bond has developed between us.

Samuel: Surely a different bond has been created and from my point of view more solid. Misunderstandings or small quarrels can often happen within the group but if you manage to be correct and fair, the atmosphere is always positive and you live harmoniously.

Daniel: I don't think the relationship between us has changed particularly over time as having known each other for many years we already had some confidence. Living together has never given me any particular difficulty from this point of view and I believe that in general we have always managed to make changes where necessary, initially less so, but over time everything has become easier.

What are the 3 things you appreciate most about this experience?

Nicola: The three things I appreciate are autonomy, self-sufficiency and companionship.

Samuel: The development of autonomy and responsibility, because living alone you are obliged to be responsible so it is also less burdensome to learn to be.

Daniel: Autonomy, freedom and sharing. 

 

What were the difficulties you encountered?

Nicola: At the beginning of the journey I felt the lack of my family and the difficulty of integrating.

Samuel: The difficulties I encountered were the management of food, because it can happen that you don't pay attention to some things and they go bad or the constant shopping and cleaning. 

Daniel: A difficulty that I initially encountered in this experience was to objectively analyze a problem and then be able to implement useful actions to resolve it.

What were the difficulties you overcame?

Nicholas:I overcame missing my family and learned to integrate.

Samuel: I don't know.

Daniel: In part that of analyzing the problem at a relational level and looking for a solution, I often fell into giving myself an answer, however influenced by my subjective vision which did not allow me to analyze the complete picture of the situation. This experience helped me stop this automatic process happening in my head and analyze problems differently.

Has your relationship with your family changed?

Nicola: The relationship with my family has changed slightly, mostly with my brother who I see much less.

Samuel: The relationship with my family has changed in these three years of living together for several aspects,

as my personal growth rather than the experience itself.

Daniel: It has changed, from the third year onwards I spent a lot of time away from home, during the year thanks to this project and during the summer working in the hotel as a seasonal worker, so overall I think I have followed a process that has made me grow and consequently become more responsible towards myself. At the moment I live abroad, I feel like a totally different person than I was in previous years, and my relationship with my family is now much better than before I started this process away from home. So undoubtedly a part of this change can be attributed to these experiences. 

Did you learn to do something you couldn't do before?

Nicola: I learned to manage myself with housework and to think of others.

Samuel: I learned to manage the whole area of shopping, food and meal preparation organization which at the beginning of this experience was the point on which we had to work the most even as a group.

Daniel: I learned a lot, cooking, cleaning the house and washing clothes were things I knew how to do, but I certainly learned what it means to be responsible for all of that. Cooking once a week is different from managing the meals of a house and doing the shopping, the same thing for cleaning the house or doing the laundry. Even at a relational level I absolutely learned to deal with problems differently, as I said before when some problems arise you need to be able to analyze them objectively and together, look for the solution and put it into practice. 

Is there an aspect of yourself that you have discovered in this experience?

Nicola: I have found that I am very quick to get used to it.

Samuel: One aspect of my character that I discovered thanks to this experience is the fact of being very flexible on the different habits of the people I live with and therefore being able to manage life together despite having different habits.

Daniel: I am a person who loves being alone a lot, I feel good with myself and sometimes it happens that I almost appreciate the time I spend alone more than the time with others, but this experience, as well as others of this kind, he showed me that he also enjoys sharing some daily moments with other people.

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